The end of THE END is the best place to begin THE END, because if you read THE END from the beginning of the beginning of THE END to the end of the end of THE END, you will arrive at the end.

In this course, I learned the basic definitions of writing terms from Harris’ book “Rewriting.” The definitions that I learned from the book summarized the knowledge I learned previously. In the news, I learned that stories are always changing and growing. Depending on the news site, there will be a different style and format for its audiences. I learned more about blogs and how many there are on any subjects. My news reading habits sadly did not change. I am too stubborn for that. I still view reading the news as a chore. This confirms my decision of being a science major and not an international study major. But, I did like writing my thoughts down in my blog. It was a good way for me to express how I felt after reading a piece of material. If it was polished up, a blog could be used as a reference to give to future schools and jobs. In the future, I would like to type out my thoughts while reading an article. Then, by using the blog post, create a paper. Overall, I enjoyed this class and having a blog was not so bad after all. Thanks! 

Montrose Slashing - Essay 2 (First Draft)

Montrose Slashing

            Mallory Haulman started her Tuesday morning just any other ordinary school day. She got ready for school and headed to school with her sister. However, at 8:00 am, a boy dressed in baggy clothes walked up to Mallory and her sister and slashed Mallory’s throat with a knife and walked out. Thankfully, Mallory survived this incident. November 11, 2008 marks a life-changing date for the Haulman family and Montrose High School. Many news stories cycled about this unfortunate event. The story mainly passed through Colorado news outlets, but the story changed as more information was presented. The story started with Mallory and her health, then shaped into the consequences of the main and the accomplice, and continued the debate over school safety in Montrose, Colorado.

             On November 12, 2008 at 2:00pm, the Denver Post wrote the article titled “Montrose girl recuperating at home after slashing.” This article was the first posted about the slashing outside of the Montrose, Colorado’s town newspaper, the Daily Press. This article presented the whole story, detail by detail, but began with the gory details about the incident and about her father’s, Denny Haulman, reaction. “He rushed to Montrose Memorial Hospital, where the doctors were preparing for survey on Mallory, 17, whose throat was slit as she headed to class. His daughter was on an operating table, her eyes wide open. All she said was ‘hello,’ but it was a huge relief, he said” (Mitchell). Father/daughter compassion is felt through this quote. A father’s reaction can give a reader an idea of what it feels like to experience an unfortunate event that has happened to someone you love. An emotional story-like tone is set for the rest of the article. The article moves forward into talking about Mallory and her achievements. Mallory is no different than the ordinary high school student.  She is an excellent student who plays sports, softball. By examining Mallory as a person, the reader can relate to her. The questions, “Am I any different than Mallory?” and “Did she deserve this?” are presented. The article gives a full detail background of what happened, starting at 8:00 am November 11, 2013. Mallory and her sister Mae were walking together from the school parking lot into the high school when they first noticed the boy with a baseball cap on and baggy pants. The girls did not notice the boy following them into the high school. Once inside, the boy “…grabbed Mallory’s throat from behind and slashed it” (Mitchell). The boy calmly walked out of the school’s lobby and Mae screamed for 911. Denny Haulman does not blame the school for this incident.  The focus of this article was based on Mallory’s health and the overall story. Information about the suspect was not presented yet. However, information about the suspect evolves into something more.

            On Friday, November 14, 2008, new information on the suspect, or should I say suspects, were presented. There was not only one 14-year old boy involved in the slashing, but two. The boy who performed the actual act of slashing was not enrolled in the school. However, the second boy was. The first suspect was caught almost immediately after the incident and is being held on attempted first-degree murder charges, according to Coloradoradio. The involvement of the second boy has been questioned. Conspiracies arose about the purpose of the slashing. Did the slashing have some kind of gang involvement? Were the boys mentally ill?  The first boy was ordered to remain at Grand Mesa Youth Services in Grand Junction, Colorado due to safety reasons. It was not until Monday, November 24, almost two weeks after the incident, that the boys had formal charges. The first boy is being charged as an adult in attempt to commit first-degree murder and first degree and conspiracy to commit first-degree assault. Both of the boys were sent to Grand Mesa Youth Services Center. On January 15, 2009, the Denver Post wrote an article called, “Second teen charge in Montrose slashing.” The first boy is now addressed by his real name, Michael Yates. The second boy is still not identified. Yates appeared in court. A new concern was added to this investigation. “Court documents say Yates told investigators he had been up all night before the attack and the voices were instructing him on what to do”(Denver Post). Yates’ mental health is now a concern for the jury. Yates brought up the argument that the “voices” were instructing him to commit the crime. “When he saw Mallory, the voices told him ‘her’” (Denver Post). The way the articles explain the new information is like a traditional news story. There is no emotional contact anymore between the horrible incident and Mallory. The main focus of these articles is to explain what is happening to the boys who have committed the crime and their motive. Now, the motive is unclear when the mental health aspect is added to the table.

            Important news concerning the mental health of Michael Yates was presented during a court case in September 2009. Two eye witnesses became part of the investigation. One of the girls knew the boys personally and the other was just a passerby. The girl who knew the boys had stronger evidence for and against the boys. She admitted to the court that she lied to the police because she was scared of the consequences. When Yates found out that the girl who knew them personally came forward, he admitted that he acted alone and he did not have mental issues. He pleaded guilty to first-degree attempted murder in May and is serving in a seven year term in a youth offender program run by the Colorado Department of Corrections. 18 years of prison will be served if Yates does not abide to the program’s system.  Andrew Brown’s charges were dropped after this information was presented. He did not meet with Yates before the knife attack on November 11, 2008.  What did Montrose High school do with this tragic event?

            Creating a more secure campus was a high concern on Montrose High School’s agenda. The Montrose community was worried, “Could this happen to my child?” This incident affected other people in many different communities. Deborah Thomas, part of Keepschoolssafe.org wrote “I cannot even begin to describe how distraught I am about what has happened. Some of you may think that I am overreacting – I do not even know the people involved. However, I am looking at the whole picture here. If kids can walk into a school and do something like this, what kind of security measures do they have? And what kind of society do we have now that kids are doing this” (Thomas)? Montrose High School took this incident to heart and improved safety measures. A meeting was called at the high school’s gym. Parents and students were welcome to this meeting to discuss what can be done to improve safety measures and explain what went wrong.

In the picture above, I am sitting in the right hand corner at this meeting. As a freshman in high school during this event, I was affected member in the community. As a member of the high school community, compassion was shown by other schools. A school in Colorado made red, white, and black bracelets for every high school student to show us that we were not facing this unfortunate incident alone. According to a one year anniversary article by NBC 11 News titled “Looking back: One year since the attack on Montrose High student”, Montrose High School made a lot of changes. “They’ve reviewed all of their safety plans, purchased more security cameras, sent staff to receive training from the US Department of Homeland Security, and have bought electronic visitor screening systems” (NBC). Glass doors were also installed in the school and all of the doors are locked during passing periods. But, would this prevent the same situation from happening again? The boy who made the attack looked like an ordinary high school student. The glass doors are unlocked during the morning for students and their identification is not checked. In order to prevent another incident like this to happen, more safety procedures would be needed.

            The incident on November 11, 2008 changed the Haulman family and the Montrose community. I followed the story of the slashing when it was a current event and re-followed the story once it was few years old. It is interesting to see how my view has changed when re-reading the story a few years later. During 2008, I viewed the story as something that could happen again and there could be another attack. While reading it again in 2013, my view has changed. I view is as a resolved story. I know how the conflict ended and the safety measures have improved. But when it comes to schools, there will never be enough safety. When will the school violence end?

Works Cited

Heidelberg, Katharhynn . "DA moves to amend charges in slashing." Daily Press. Daily Press, 05 Feb 2009. Web. 3 Mar 2013. <http://www.montrosepress.com/news/da-moves-to-amend-charges-in-slashing/article_c9599583-6272-56ea-bad9-e4cf49ed2b62.html>.

"Looking back: One year since attack on Montrose High student." KKCO11 News. Gray Television, 11 Nov 2009. Web. 3 Mar 2013. <http://www.nbc11news.com/home/headlines/69804897.html?site=full>.

Mitchell, Kirk. "Montrose girl recuperating at home after slashing." Denver Post. Denver Post, 12 Decembre 2009. Web. 3 Mar 2013. <http://www.denverpost.com/ci_10966214>.

Phillips, Steve. "NEWS: Thursday September 24, 2009." Colorado Radio. Colorado Radio, 24 Sep 2009. Web. 3 Mar 2013. <http://coloradoradio.com/2009/09/24/news-thursday-september-24-2009/>.

Phillips, Steve. "SERIOUS INJURY IN MONTROSE HIGH SCHOOL ATTACK." Colorado Radio. Colorado Radio, 21 May 2009. Web. 3 Mar 2013. <http://coloradoradio.com/2009/05/21/serious-injury-in-montrose-high-school-incident/>.

"Second teen charged in Montrose slashing." Denver Post. Denver Post, 15 Jan 2009. Web. 3 Mar 2013. <http://www.denverpost.com/breakingnews/ci_11462060>.

Thomas, Deborah. "High School Girl’s Throat Slashed." Keep Schools Safe. Keep Schools Safe. Web. 3 Mar 2013. <http://www.keepschoolssafe.org/high-school-girl’s-throat-slashed/>.

Daredevil Nik Wallenda

Cassandra Gray
February 25, 2013
Professor Leake
Writing

Daredevil Nik Wallenda

I first came across this image by Googling “Best news photos of 2012.” On the USAToday news site, this picture was ranked one of the best photos. After finding it interesting, I decided to look up the new stories that went with it.

On June 15, 2012, 33 year old Nik Wallenda became the first person tightrope walker to walk “1,800 feet across the mist-fogged brink of the roaring falls separating the U.S. and Canada” (Fox news).  Other tightrope walkers have walked across Niagara Falls, but it has not been attempted since 1896 and it was more downstream. Various news sites documented this amazing story and used many different pictures.

Fox News took a simple approach to the event. It properly explained who, what, when, and why. Wallenda is the seventh-generation member of wild performers to have a dream of attempting a stunt that has never been attempted before. It was estimated that about 125,000 viewers on the Canadian side and 4,000 viewers on the American side watched. ABC sponsored the daredevil $1.3 million to help his make his dream come true. In return, ABC televised the walk. The walk was completed on a two-inch wire. In order for the wire to not swing, Pendulum anchors were designed by his mother. To give some background history, Nik comes from a family full of acrobats, aerialists, jugglers, animal trainers, and trapeze artists. In 1978, the family was touched by a tragedy. Karl Wallenda, Nik’s great grandfather and hero, fell to his death during a tightrope walk in Puerto Rico. It took Nik two years to be able to persuade the U.S. and Canadian authorities to allow the act. Finally, the authorities were convinced because they thought it could boost the region’s economy. Fox News used the picture above and a picture of the visitors at the Niagara Falls . The picture of Nik walking across Niagara Falls gives the reader a face to put with the name of the article. The picture is also beautiful, which gives the reader a sense of how it must have been walking across the roaring falls.

By providing a picture of the amount of visitors, it gave the reader a sense of how many people came out and watched this event in history. The cable is also seen and how large the Falls are. The distance from the cable and the water can be described through this picture.

Daily Mail, a British news site, gave a different account about what happened at this event. The news story focused more on what he was doing and what instruments he used. Nik Wallenda only took 25 minutes to walk across the Niagara Falls. The water 200 ft beneath his feet roared at 65 mph. To help his balance, Wallenda carried a 40 ft pole attached to a brace around his neck. He also wore a safety harness attached to the cable. The website gave several pictures of his journey across the lake. An interesting point that was brought up in the article was that he looked at his feet instead of looking straight ahead.

The images on this website helped visualize the event more than Fox News and USA Today. The images brought the event to life because Wallenda’s expressions were easily visible and the water conditions were noticeable.

The images allow the news story to come alive.  Emotions spur within the reader once they view the images. A person may feel fear, anxiety, or hope towards the tightrope walker. Without the images the event would just be another story. With pictures, the story is easily believed and presented as fact.

Works Cited

http://www.usatoday.com/picture-gallery/news/2012/12/18/best-news-photos-of-2012/1760717/

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/06/15/wallenda-begins-walks-across-niagara-falls-wire/

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2160143/Niagara-Falls-tightrope-walk-2012-Walker-Nik-Wallenda-person-cross.html

Review Questions:

#1 Reviewer’s Name: Julia Chun
1. Is the image analyzed in relationship to a larger story, and what is that story?

The story is about Nik Wallenda and how he journeyed on a tightrope across the Niagara Falls. She compares the story told by three different news sites with three different images.

2. How is the image analyzed?

The images are analyzed by purposes each serves.

3. What do you find most interesting about the analysis?

It is interesting how each picture is so different and taken from different points of view. I like how you mentioned one source said he looked at his feet.

4. What is most confusing or in need of great attention or explanation?

I think more attention should be placed on the image rather than the story. Maybe the emotion it spurs in you and potentially in other readers.

5. Other comments and suggestions for revision?

I think all the images are very interesting, but more of your essay was summarizing each story rather than analyzing the image in relation to the story. I think you gave a very elaborate description for the Fox news image and should try to make the other description about the same amount by either lessening Fox or lengthening the other.

#2        Reviewer’s Name: Jerrod R.

1. Is the image analyzed in relationship to a larger story, and what is that story?

            The image is analyzed in relationship to the story of Nik Walenda and his crossing of Niagara Falls.

2. How is the image analyzed?

            The image was analyzed by using three different news agencies rather than just one to fill in the gaps that each story leaves out.

3. What do you find most interesting about the analysis?

            I personally find the multiple news agencies to be very intriguing and added more to the story than what would have just been left out if the author just stuck with the Fox News story or otherwise.

4. What is most confusing or in need of great attention or explanation?

            I think that the paper could be bolstered through the use of quotations from the articles in conjunction with the pictures.

5. Other comments and suggestions for revision?

            I think that this was a rather good piece and a rather interesting story to cover.

You're So Out of Style

“In taking an approach, you rewrite no passages or ideas from a text but another writer’s mode or style of working” (Harris 95).  In Joseph Harris’ chapter “Taking an Approach,” he focuses on more of the style and influences of a writer. There is a strong and weak way to take an approach. A weak way would be in...”which one assumes the role of a disciple, adopting (rather than adapting) the moves and interest of another thinker”(74). In other words, one who just adopts an idea from a writer (kind of like what I did just now). Using quotes is a way of a weak approach. A way to have a strong approach is to transform a piece of writing and use the writer as an influence. A few examples of this are movies and covers. Movie producers that use books as an idea for a movie is a way of taking a strong approach. In order to produce a book into a movie, the director has to be creative and use the book as an influence. The movie cannot simply be only the details in the book. The movie would never sell. Another example Harris used is when he was writing one of his books. He adopted the style of another writer. The influencing author used a style where he analyzed words. Harris did not just steal this man’s style, he also cited in his interests section of his book. I found it interesting that although he was not using a direct part of the author's writing, the man still needed to be recognized. Taking an approach can be described in three categories: acknowledging influences, turning an approach on itself, and reflexivity.

The New York Times uses more of a weak approach and has an interviewing style.
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/02/18/business/energy-environment/obamas-keystone-pipeline-decision-risks-new-problems-either-way.html?hp&_r=0
The New York Times generally uses a lot of quotes in their articles. 

“It’s rare that a president has such a singular voice on such a major policy decision,” Mr. Brune said. 

They also receive these quotes from interviews and attending the events. A more diverse view is gained by having quotes but it also loses impact. It is more of a block form of writing rather than a good solid flow.

I have been reading the blog The Everywhereist. (http://www.everywhereist.com). This blog does not have weak approach, but I would also say it does not have a strong approach either. This blog is more of a free flow of thoughts. She does put in links whenever she finds something interesting. But she does have an original style. However, the style is not adopted from anywhere else. Her personality shines through her blog. By having her own style, she receives a lot more viewers on her website. But by having her own style, she cannot be used as a legit information source.  

Undeserved accolades:

TIME magazine’s Top 25 Blogs of 2011. (Proof that god occasionally gets drunk.)

Does Security have a Price tag? (Rewrite of news article with reviews)

http://www.denverpost.com/breakingnews/ci_22124757/denver-police-spent-500k-du-debate-but-city
Denver police spent $500K on DU debate, but city got good PR
by Jeremy P. Meyer
12/04/2012

I rewrote this article to a college audience, specifically DU students. The newspaper wrote it more to the general public about the financial issue of the DU Debate. I believe that it should be towards college students, especially students who attend DU. I did not know that $500,000 was spent on just security alone for the debate.

Does Security have a Price tag?

SWAT cars with armed soldiers on all sides, police barricades, limited walking access around campus, and snipers on the roof of Centennial Halls is what I woke up to on October 3, 2012. A question you might ask would be, “Why is there so much security?” On October 3, University of Denver became a part of election history. My college hosted the first presidential debate of 2012. I am a University of Denver student and also became a part of this history. However, there were factors about the debate that I did not realize or was aware of.

On October 3, the Denver police spent nearly $500,000 to provide security for the presidential debate at the University of Denver. According to Denver Police Chief Robert White, nearly $90,000 was in overtime costs and about $400,000 was on-duty costs. All of this money was going towards the safety of our president and candidate. With this much security on campus, I had mixed feelings. I felt safer because I could see the SWAT cars driving around my school. However, I felt more uneasy due to the fact that there is no a reason for someone with bad intentions to come onto my campus. One thing to ask as a new resident in Denver, Colorado is, “Where is this money coming from?” The city would like to believe that the Democrats and Republicans will help repay the hefty cost of holding the debate. The city has been concerned about where this money will actually come from, and they have the right to be. The Denver police spent over budget.

The Denver Police were in charge of the full-time security for the candidates, security around hotels, crowd management, and on the perimeter of the D.U. Campus. To protect the candidates, the campus was blocked off by several fences. Students noticed there was going to be a change on campus. The preparation for the debate started a few weeks prior. While the gates were being set up, students were allowed to walk through them to class. But on the day of the debate, classes were canceled and the official change began. News reporters would question the students on their political views and about holding the debate on campus. Was having the debate in Denver worth the trouble? I would say yes. Although the Denver police spent a hefty about of money on the presidential debate, the benefits of hosting it outweighed the cost. The city of Denver received international recognition. News reporters, students, teachers, upper class, middle class, lower class, and the international world tuned into Denver for the 2012 presidential election. Denver was allowed to shine through the media. The University of Denver estimated that the city of Denver would receive $10 million to $15 million bonus from the debate that brought in thousands of journalists, crews, and campaign staffers. Everyone wanted to be a part of this history.  DU also estimated to receive about $55.7million worth of media expose to the school. The media reviews will likely increase the attendance at the school and increase their reputation nationally and internationally. It was estimated that 67.2 million television views, in just the United States, tuned into the debate. This will boost tourism in Denver, grow the economy, create more jobs, and generate more tax dollars over the years. Although the $500,000 police security bill seems like a lot, it won’t after time. The media boost does not stop here though. 15 police officers will be sent to the presidential inauguration to assist the Metro-politan Police Department of Washington D.C.  Don’t worry, City of Denver. The city will be reimbursed by the cost of the holding the presidential debate at the University of Denver. With growing press and a growing international reputation, Denver will make its money back in time and more.

Reviews:

Bill Schaff Review

1)The original article was written the general public. It was about how the police department over spent for security at the debate. She rewrote this article to appeal to students at the University of Denver. To explain to DU students what it really took to out on this event and how it will help our school and the city

2)The change of the audience is shown by how she simply explains what it took to put on the event to college kids and what this will bring to The University of Denver and to the city of Denver.

3)There are 2 things that could help her introduction. First off is to write it more towards college kids. It felt like you were just summarizing the first part of the article and didn’t really change the article in this paragraph. Also, I would add something to grab the attention of your audience.

4)A way to make this paper target your audience better is to change the style of writing. To me it felt like it was very similar to the style of the article. Maybe write more as a blog style where you add in your own opinion, the opinion of a DU student.

5)I really liked how you are writing this to DU students because it happened here. I found it very interesting because I personally did not know most of this information.

Review by Julia Chun -

1)      The original story is about the costs of police protection during the debate and how the police department wants the political parties to pay them back for the high costs. The audience is the general public (residents of Denver –denverpost). The purpose was to inform Denver citizens of the costs of the debate on the city of Denver.

a.      The new audience is University of Denver students. The purpose is to inform the students of the costs police spent on the debate that took place in October.

2)      The change in audience is reflected in the slightly different diction. More focus is placed on how we are in the city of Denver.

3)      I think introduction could be made into more of an attention-grabber.

4)      The piece might better target the DU student audience if you told it from your point of view (also a DU student). Maybe make it more personable, or make it more about how the debate took place at our school, how you remember the barricade the police made, etc. J Think about maybe rewriting in a more informal setting, or as if you are writing in the DU Clarion.

5)      It was really similar to the original, so try to change more of the diction or the tone. 

Memory believes being knowing remembers

“Maybe because photographs tamper with the glue that holds life and memory together.” 

Wow. Wow is the only thing that came to mind when I finished this article. I loved Errol Morris’ article “Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire” form the New York Times. I found it fabulous for a couple of reasons. Probably the main reason I liked it is because I love to take pictures. On my Facebook, I have almost 8,000 pictures. The 8,000 pictures are from my freshman year onward.  Of course, I have a lot more on my computer and on hard drives from previous years. I also loved the way he brought up the issue between images and beliefs. Morris was right. When I look at a picture, I believe that the picture is what the caption says. I automatically believe that it is true. This belief made me wonder where it originated for me. It probably started with family pictures, school textbooks, and maybe television. When I was younger, I took everything as a true fact. For example, what little kid does not believe in Santa Clause and Cinderella? Morris stated, “I might imagine things about the people and places in the photographs but know nothing about them. Nothing.” I do not know my family very well. I have met my grandparents five times in my life and my aunts and uncles less than that on my mom’s side (since she moved to the United States from England when she was in her 20s). When I look at pictures of my family, I just assume that they are who the caption or tag says they are. I have met my sister only a few times in my life. I have a picture of us when I am about two years old. But, of course, I do not remember. I take the picture as a fact. 

I also don't remember being scared of military men. haha

http://www.cbsnews.com/8334-201_162-57407221/15-best-april-fools-day-hoaxes/

Every year, newspapers do funny news stories for April Fool’s day. Some people actually believe the ridiculous pictures that they see. This reminds me of Morris’ post about how we just assume that pictures are true. But, today Photoshop is available to the public. You cannot always trust the pictures you see.

Yes/Maybe/No

In Joseph Harris’ book “Rewriting”, he describes the concept of countering. Countering is a way to respond to a piece of writing the reader may or may not agree with. Countering is kind of similar to forwarding. Forwarding is where the discussion is lead to a new light. Countering is the discussion that is taking place. “Countering looks at other views and texts not as wrong but as partial – in the sense of being both interested and incomplete. In countering you bring a different set of interest to bear upon a subject, look to notice what others have not” (Harris 56). When countering an argument, the writer has to focus on the little details. An argument is found when looking at the piece of writing line by line, rather than the whole thing. The writer does not have to disagree with all of it.  Harris discusses three ways of creating a counter argument: arguing the other side, uncovering values, and dissenting.  Arguing the other side is when an author looks at the details and makes a solid argument against it. Uncovering values is to “notice what a text leaves unasked” (Harris 64). By examining details that are not fully explained, a writer is able to expand their ideas and bring the discussion to a new light. Dissenting is where the writer shares a few ideas with the author, but also has some new issues to bring up. (I just did a little bit of dissenting with that sentence haha).

Here is an example I found of countering:

http://www.denverpost.com/opinion/ci_22551565/devil-is-gun-checks-details

The gun issue has been a very countering argument issue. There are both pros and cons on the subject. Depending on the article being read, the author may argue for and against it. But there are a lot of gray areas on the subject. When it comes to countering, the unbiased view of the subject is usually lost. Knowledge of a certain side of the argument is usually gained and the issue is altered for their purpose.