Does Security have a Price tag? (Rewrite of news article with reviews)

http://www.denverpost.com/breakingnews/ci_22124757/denver-police-spent-500k-du-debate-but-city
Denver police spent $500K on DU debate, but city got good PR
by Jeremy P. Meyer
12/04/2012

I rewrote this article to a college audience, specifically DU students. The newspaper wrote it more to the general public about the financial issue of the DU Debate. I believe that it should be towards college students, especially students who attend DU. I did not know that $500,000 was spent on just security alone for the debate.

Does Security have a Price tag?

SWAT cars with armed soldiers on all sides, police barricades, limited walking access around campus, and snipers on the roof of Centennial Halls is what I woke up to on October 3, 2012. A question you might ask would be, “Why is there so much security?” On October 3, University of Denver became a part of election history. My college hosted the first presidential debate of 2012. I am a University of Denver student and also became a part of this history. However, there were factors about the debate that I did not realize or was aware of.

On October 3, the Denver police spent nearly $500,000 to provide security for the presidential debate at the University of Denver. According to Denver Police Chief Robert White, nearly $90,000 was in overtime costs and about $400,000 was on-duty costs. All of this money was going towards the safety of our president and candidate. With this much security on campus, I had mixed feelings. I felt safer because I could see the SWAT cars driving around my school. However, I felt more uneasy due to the fact that there is no a reason for someone with bad intentions to come onto my campus. One thing to ask as a new resident in Denver, Colorado is, “Where is this money coming from?” The city would like to believe that the Democrats and Republicans will help repay the hefty cost of holding the debate. The city has been concerned about where this money will actually come from, and they have the right to be. The Denver police spent over budget.

The Denver Police were in charge of the full-time security for the candidates, security around hotels, crowd management, and on the perimeter of the D.U. Campus. To protect the candidates, the campus was blocked off by several fences. Students noticed there was going to be a change on campus. The preparation for the debate started a few weeks prior. While the gates were being set up, students were allowed to walk through them to class. But on the day of the debate, classes were canceled and the official change began. News reporters would question the students on their political views and about holding the debate on campus. Was having the debate in Denver worth the trouble? I would say yes. Although the Denver police spent a hefty about of money on the presidential debate, the benefits of hosting it outweighed the cost. The city of Denver received international recognition. News reporters, students, teachers, upper class, middle class, lower class, and the international world tuned into Denver for the 2012 presidential election. Denver was allowed to shine through the media. The University of Denver estimated that the city of Denver would receive $10 million to $15 million bonus from the debate that brought in thousands of journalists, crews, and campaign staffers. Everyone wanted to be a part of this history.  DU also estimated to receive about $55.7million worth of media expose to the school. The media reviews will likely increase the attendance at the school and increase their reputation nationally and internationally. It was estimated that 67.2 million television views, in just the United States, tuned into the debate. This will boost tourism in Denver, grow the economy, create more jobs, and generate more tax dollars over the years. Although the $500,000 police security bill seems like a lot, it won’t after time. The media boost does not stop here though. 15 police officers will be sent to the presidential inauguration to assist the Metro-politan Police Department of Washington D.C.  Don’t worry, City of Denver. The city will be reimbursed by the cost of the holding the presidential debate at the University of Denver. With growing press and a growing international reputation, Denver will make its money back in time and more.

Reviews:

Bill Schaff Review

1)The original article was written the general public. It was about how the police department over spent for security at the debate. She rewrote this article to appeal to students at the University of Denver. To explain to DU students what it really took to out on this event and how it will help our school and the city

2)The change of the audience is shown by how she simply explains what it took to put on the event to college kids and what this will bring to The University of Denver and to the city of Denver.

3)There are 2 things that could help her introduction. First off is to write it more towards college kids. It felt like you were just summarizing the first part of the article and didn’t really change the article in this paragraph. Also, I would add something to grab the attention of your audience.

4)A way to make this paper target your audience better is to change the style of writing. To me it felt like it was very similar to the style of the article. Maybe write more as a blog style where you add in your own opinion, the opinion of a DU student.

5)I really liked how you are writing this to DU students because it happened here. I found it very interesting because I personally did not know most of this information.

Review by Julia Chun -

1)      The original story is about the costs of police protection during the debate and how the police department wants the political parties to pay them back for the high costs. The audience is the general public (residents of Denver –denverpost). The purpose was to inform Denver citizens of the costs of the debate on the city of Denver.

a.      The new audience is University of Denver students. The purpose is to inform the students of the costs police spent on the debate that took place in October.

2)      The change in audience is reflected in the slightly different diction. More focus is placed on how we are in the city of Denver.

3)      I think introduction could be made into more of an attention-grabber.

4)      The piece might better target the DU student audience if you told it from your point of view (also a DU student). Maybe make it more personable, or make it more about how the debate took place at our school, how you remember the barricade the police made, etc. J Think about maybe rewriting in a more informal setting, or as if you are writing in the DU Clarion.

5)      It was really similar to the original, so try to change more of the diction or the tone.